


he means everything to me.

by jakefitzgerald (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sad, Unrequited Love, based on she by doddleoddle, i think we can just expect me to write sad fanfics at this point, im sorry, listen to the song or google the lyrics or whatever i guess, nice, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 08:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6276529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jakefitzgerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Somewhere, far down, there was an itch in his heart, but he made it a point not to scratch it. He was afraid of what might come leaking out.”     </p>
            </blockquote>





	he means everything to me.

the cold weather nipped at frank’s pale skin. he looked around at the snow covered tree, and then down at the icy sidewalk. a snowflake fell on his nose, and he laughed when he stole a glance at his best friend, who was trying to catch a snowflake on his tongue. the two walked inside of gerard’s favorite book store, and frank was taken over by the smell of books and the warmth from the heater. he smiled at the way his best friend’s eyes lit up at the familiar sight, and watched as the other male ran over to a section filled with classic novels. he walked over to gerard, grinning to himself as his best friend picked up the bell jar. he took note of how gerard’s eyes sparkled as he walked up to the register and purchased the book, and wished for his best friend’s eyes to sparkle like that because of him.

                                                                                                          ☆                                              

gerard and frank walked down the street, gerard holding a chocolate mocha and his bag from the bookstore, and frank holding on desperately tight to his heart so it wouldn’t get broken once more. gerard stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at frank with puppy dog eyes. 

“what do you want, gee?” the younger asked and watched a small grin form on his best friend’s face. 

“a piggyback ride.” frank wouldn’t normally give anyone piggyback rides, but he was  _ utterlyhelplesslydesperately  _ in love with gerard.

once gerard had finished his mocha, he looked at frank expectantly and hopped onto his back when frank had gotten into position for gerard to get on. the two walked down the busy streets of new jersey. 

“this is the only time i’m doing this for you.” frank said, and he wondered if it sounded as much as a lie as it really was. 

“sure it is, frankie.” was the response he got and he laughed, twirling while holding his best friend on his back tightly. 

“don’t drop meee!” he heard his best friend wine, making him laugh even more. 

“i will if you don’t shut up.” he teased, and felt a flick to the back of his head. 

“hey, stop being a meanie gerard!” he groaned, earning himself a laugh from the other male. that sound was still the best thing he had ever heard, and maybe this was because gerard was the best thing frank had ever had.

☆

“we can stay at my house, if you want.” frank 

stated after gerard had gotten off his back. 

(“you’re too slow, i’m walking myself.”

“fine.”)

“okay, as long as your heater works this time” gerard said and this brought a smile to frank’s lips at the memory of the two cuddling on frank’s couch, his ancient tv lighting the room as the two hid under a blanket fort.

“what if i liked my blanket fort?” frank teased and gerard crinkled his nose, which made him laugh once more. 

frank pulled out his phone and headphones, pressing shuffle play and listening to a pink floyd song for a minute before his best friend stole the phone and tucked it away in his back pocket.

“noooooo, frankieee. i get all your attention right now.” gerard whined and frank thinks he just fell in love again.

gerard grabs frank’s hand, and frank knows this doesn’t mean anything. he knows this is how he and gerard are, best friends, they’re like girls somewhat in this friendship. he promises himself it’s okay for him to love the warmth of gerard’s hand clutched tightly in his, since it’s not like the two are going to end up together anyways.

                                                                                                      ☆

the pair arrived at frank’s small apartment a few minutes later. it was small, but he had to work with what he had and the place became home to him.

(well, home besides gerard.)

they walked in, and much to frank’s disappointment the heater wasn’t broken.  he put gerard’s bag on the floor, and next to that gerard put each of their coats, hats, gloves, and boots. the two sat on frank’s couch, snuggled close underneath his heated blanket. 

gerard pulled out frank’s phone from his own back pocket, and scrolling through his music until he shuffled frank’s playlist of favorite songs. frank and gerard slow danced around frank’s living room (as just friends, frank, stop getting your hopes up) to ‘their song’,  lego house. (it was cheesy, really. but maybe frank liked cheesy.)

(it was one of the many things that made up gerard way.)

after the song was over, frank decided he was going to the bathroom to have some fresh air that didn’t smell like gerard. he loved him, he really did, and maybe that was the problem. he loved him too much, and he needed to breathe before he did something stupid. gerard tripped over the blanket, and frank walked out of the room laughing, ed sheeran’s voice following him out, reminding him that this feels like falling in love.

“frankie, are you okay?” he heard gerard’s voice call, and before he could answer the bathroom handle was turning and gerard walked in the room. 

“oh, i was just about to wash my hands.” frank lied, turning out the cold water and, well, washing his hands.

gerard sat on the counter beside the sink, singing the lyrics to whatever ed sheeran song apparently was playing now.

(frank wouldn’t know, because all the inbetweens of every song  became gerard way to him.)

he felt like his head was spinning, and he smiled at his best friend, trying to find calm within himself.

“i want apple juice.” gerard stated, and frank laughed for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

(maybe it was, he supposes love has that effect on people.)

“well, i have some in the refrigerator.” the standing male said and gerard hopped of the counter, running to the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of apple juice.

frank only smiled and admired his best friend.

                                                                                                    ☆

          midnight rolled around and the two laughed until their stomach’s hurt, but gerard remembered he had work tomorrow and frank knew it was too good to be true so it was okay.

as gerard was about to leave, he smiled and frank was sure that he just fell in love even more.

gerard walked to the front door, and frank grabbed him by the shoulder, turned him around, and before he could stop himself his soft lips were touching gerard’s chapped ones.

gerard tasted like warm summer nights, pumpkin spice coffee in the fall, and apple juice.

once he pulled away to catch his breath, his best friend turned towards the door again. “i have to go.” he mumbled. “was it something i did..?” frank said with a small frown, worry evident on his face.

“yeah, what you just did, i don’t know how i feel about it.” gerard said, frowning ever so slightly. “like, i don’t know if i.. liked it.” He continued.

“oh, well, i understand. we could always see what happens next time…?” frank tried, trying with a small smile.

“i don’t think i want there to be a next time.” gerard said and all frank could say was “oh.”

gerard walked out of frank’s apartment, and as he walked, frank realized he tasted to gerard as nothing at all.


End file.
